Of Violent Digging and the Self Turned Out

so close to perfect and then you turn me inside out/the father with hands black as dirty sandpaper crawling on my bones, sucking me out like snakes/i won't play with/slipping into something else, something terrible and tested like thunder/build me a nest for my turned over skin, my hands floppy like child-made pancakes/the dough of my survivor heart/i'll admit my feet are vulnerable, turn them over into burning pieces of cement, dry and able/to take any beating like my mother/she has skin soft like baby hands/she has hair rough and thick like itchy rashes on the chest, red as thirsty, unapologetic lips/she takes punishments like we take food/thoughtless and spoiled/i'm folding into two/father and mother/dreamer and dream-giver/animal and beast/the best is still out there, thinking of the inside me/until then you see the damage: i was one thing and now the other/from words mean like hot iron on my belly/from those trying to steal me, find a tangible way inside of me like virgin sex/you take and take/and take like tomorrow is just a word, nothing real to face/you have rolled me out into a jelly bean, easy to swallow/give me your violent kiss/let's mix